How Can I Help My Children Avoid Pornography as Their World Goes Virtual?

What Can I Do to Prevent My Child From Seeing Pornography?

As internet use becomes a necessity, the risk of your child seeing pornography may increase. For many, it's no longer a matter of if but when their child will see porn. 

So, what can you do to keep your child safe from its damaging effects?

1. Set up filters and restrictions. While these tools don't guarantee zero exposure, they can reduce the frequency and type of sexual content they might see. 
2. Set expectations with your children. Providing clear boundaries and guidelines for your children ensures they know where you stand on the matter. 
3. Talk to your kids about what pornography is. While this may not prevent them from exposure, it can deter them from looking for it. Likewise, it helps them quickly realize what it is if they do come across it. 

How can I set boundaries about pornography without provoking curiosity?

Some worry that conversations about drugs, sex, alcohol, and porn provoke kid's curiosity. However, that isn't necessarily true. As you create an open dialogue and answer your kids' questions, you're removing their curiosity. The key to success is to open the door to communication and to answer their questions. Thus, it's also crucial to be approachable, safe, and open.

Here are some ideas you can include in your conversation.

As you begin, you can teach your children, even young children, that it's normal to be curious about their bodies. Normalizing their curiosity can prevent them from feeling shame or embarrassed. Then, teach them that the internet is not the best place to turn for answers about the body, without a parent. If they ask why help them understand that there are many images on the internet that can be harmful. Next, depending on your child's age, you can teach them about the effects of pornography on the brain. 

Finally, focus on helping your children feel like they can approach you if they see pornography. Teach them the harm that can come with keeping secrets. By creating safety, they'll know they can come to you right away. 

What Can I Teach My Child to Do If They See Pornography?

So, you've set up filters and blocked sites and feel you've done all you can to prevent pornography from entering your home. Yet, something happens, and your child is still exposed. What can you do? 

First, have a plan in place. The Protect Young Minds organization, https://www.protectyoungminds.org, has a great method to follow. Using their CANDO acronym can equip your children with a useful tool to fight the urge to look. 

Next, help your children understand they are not bad. Talk to them about what they're feeling and help remove any shame they may be experiencing. 

Finally, follow up. Check their phones and screens often. The best way to hinder the effects of pornography is to intervene before an addiction forms. 

If your child comes to you, or you discover a pornography addiction, you are not alone.