What Is Betrayal Trauma and How Can I Start the Healing Process?
Let's discuss betrayal trauma and answer common questions
It's unmistakable when you get a feeling that instantly floods you with anger, pain, grief, and uncertainty. It crashes into you, and as you scramble to get back on your feet, your thoughts begin racing again.
Betrayal trauma changes your way of life and can interfere with your ability to remain present. Likewise, it seems to torment you, sometimes even in your dreams. How can you move forward?
Betrayal trauma is disloyalty and broken trust within a relationship. Likewise, it comes through a violation of a commitment to keep you safe and secure. Examples of betrayal include deception, lies, hidden addictions, and emotional or physical affairs. As such, the event can leave you with symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder. Likewise, abuse and neglect from a caregiver violate safety and security. As a result, betrayal trauma can also develop in childhood.
In this article, we'll discuss betrayal trauma. We'll answer the questions, "What is it?" and "How can I heal?"
What Is Betrayal Trauma?
Growing up, many of us envision living happily ever after. Then when we mature, we understand that trust is required to love someone and let them reciprocate it. By doing so, we become vulnerable. However, the feelings of love and connection make it worth it. As we bond and unite with our partners, our trust grows stronger. At the end of the day, that deep human connection contributes to our overall happiness.
Betrayal trauma occurs when that deep connection you thought you had is ripped away. This happens as you discover infidelity or deceit within your relationship. Likewise, betrayal trauma develops in children who endure neglect and abuse by a caregiver. In other words, when someone you depend on for safety and security critically violates your trust, it can cause betrayal trauma. As a result, you're left in a life-shattering state of mind that can negatively affect your life in many ways if left untreated.
It's hard to explain what betrayal trauma feels like to someone who has never been through it. As a result, you may feel alone in your pain. Understanding the effects of betrayal trauma can be a step toward healing. Furthermore, it can help you gain insight into why you may be feeling or reacting to situations the way you are.
The ideas below may help you begin taking steps toward your healing process. However, if you continue to experience symptoms, you may need professional help. A counselor can help you identify the many areas of life your betrayal trauma is affecting. Then, you can work on rebuilding your inner strength, ultimately feeling whole again. The good news is, there is hope. Healing is possible, and you can learn to trust again.
How Can I Start to Heal From Betrayal Trauma?
Healing from betrayal trauma is possible. The process is often difficult, but the result of peace from within makes it worth it.
Here are some ideas that may help you begin to heal
- Remove your expectations of how you should be handling things. One of the things that can weigh you down is the internal battle of expectations. "I should be feeling this." or "I should be doing that." can lead to more suffering.
- Acknowledge your emotions rather than numbing or avoiding them. Negative emotions are your brain's way of telling you something needs your attention. Often, our feelings make themselves known in a physical way. As emotions come up, practice identifying where you feel them. Do you feel tension behind your neck, or sick to your stomach? This process helps you become in tune with your body, physically and emotionally.
- Keep a journal. A great way to acknowledge your emotions is to write them down. Journaling can also help you monitor your progress.
- Practice self-care. When life turns upside-down, you may want to retreat to your bed rather than face the day. However, that can be an emotional trap. Good hygiene, eating, and sleep habits improve your physical and mental health.
- Reach out. Talk to a trusted friend about how you're feeling.
- Recognize your successes. As you begin learning how to trust your instincts again, take note of your progress.
If healing your betrayal trauma on your own is not working you may want to seek professional help.
At Endeavour Counseling, we understand the real effects of betrayal trauma.
Recent Posts
